Dealing with Anger Issues in a Relationship

⚠️WARNING⚠️ TOPICS OF SA I want to stay in bed all day today.... Had a fucking night terror while also getting woken up from said night terror by my fiancé and for some reason he seems pissed off for literally no fucking reason, that I know of. He's been getting very easy to irritate recently, like I'm walking on fucking eggshells. We smoke 🍃 and 🍯, and rn we don't have anything so I mean his anger issues do come out more when he's sober, that's why I always try to have it, but when we don't it's like we can't go a single day without being at each other's throats. He's never hit me both when he's sober and when he isn't, he has accidentally said things that hurt me emotionally though, I have autism, Asperger's Syndrome to be exact, and towards the beginning of the relationship I was SAed by one of my close friends, I'm not gonna go into all that but I couldn't read when the situation was gonna go bad so he said "you're not dumb intellectually, but you're dumb in the sense that you can't read a situation when it's about to go bad" I don't think he meant to call me dumb, but it sure felt like he was calling me that, and it hurt... Bad, I thought for the whole time I was at work that I would end up in another abusive relationship just when I thought everything was going great, and I'd have to leave. I'm not going to leave unless it becomes more frequent and more violently chosen words... I hate being sober during times like these, 🍃 and 🍯 helps with so much of my conditions and when I don't have any, it feels like I can't deal with any of my problems as well as usual and he can't control his anger as well as usual when he's sober either. Thoughts?