Daily Transphobia: A Non-Passing Transfeminine Person's Experience

if i were to describe what it's like to look like a non-passing transfeminine person, it'd be something like this: you go to your first day at a new job. the trainer gives you a very forced smile. you are being trained with one other employee. she tries not to get caught staring at you throughout the day, and looks extremely uncomfortable any time you talk to her. when she asks the trainer questions, she gets an explanation. when you ask questions, you get a sigh, then an explanation. on the way home you go to the ice cream parlor. the clerk grimaces as you walk up to the counter. he takes your order. he whispers to his coworker and laughs as he makes your order. as the next person approaches the counter, he smiles and takes their order. next you go to the grocery store. you look around, unsure where to find the next item on your list. a teenager loudly calls you a tranny and walks quickly away. you try not to start crying as you struggle to finish your shopping trip. it probably seems like an exaggeration. but all of these have happened to me in the past week, and i don't go out much (in part because i can't deal with too much of being treated like this). maybe i should be counting myself lucky that i'm not getting physically attacked. i live in a blue state. it's really hard to get over the negative ideas about myself that my ptsd left me with when this is my normal experience with people. therapy can only do so much.