My cousin is making my anxiety worse

Yeah, he needs to get out yesterday. Super not okay. Just bc they’re family doesn’t mean you owe them anything

Just for some context, my dad doesn’t live with us and my moms a quadriplegic so she can’t exactly come running to help. My dad comes in the morning and is here until around midnight then he does home.

He needs to be out. Plain and simple. Him saying he is addicted to you is too much. I don’t think having a discussion is enough. And then he blames you for things?? He needs to GO.

He's a manipulator. He understands. He just doesn't care. He's also a stalker. Maybe I watch too many true crime stories, but with him there, you are not safe in you own house. Do not allow yourself to be alone with him and when he's standing near your door, where are you parents? Why aren't they confronting him? He needs to go. Next time he does it and your parent are somewhere in the house I'd scream as loud as possible GET AWAY FROM MY DOOR!!! And remember he gets it. He's basically sexually stalking you.

It’s a hammock chair swing! We have a canopy over it to cover the sides and back as well so it allows me to “hide” more. My dad doesn’t live with us and my moms a quadriplegic so it’s only really bothersome after my dad goes home and it’s just us.

This is super creepy and I’m sorry you have to deal with this :( on a lighter note the swing sounds awesome

It seems like it might need to be a family meeting environment where everyone in the household sits down together and discusses boundaries. For a much older male to hover over and around you like this is a red flag. Big red flag. Please be safe and try and make sure you are as clear as possible when expressing your concerns. You taking care of this man is not your responsibility. Especially when it affects your health. Please be safe! We are here for you. Sending love!

Why are your parents allowing this behavior? I would never allow this to happen in my home. This sounds like something out of a scary movie. Do not underestimate his behavior & how dangerous it is. This is very disturbing.

That is very kind of you. It looks like you are doing everything possible. Please do not feel bad. I will say maybe watch for sometime and see if he understands a bit more with time as therapy kicks in. And if possible, your mum can be of great help here to both of you, especially explaining things to him.

He just started therapy. He said he doesn’t want someone to tell him that he needs to learn to be okay being alone and with himself first. I’ve told him I’m here to listen but there are things I can’t handle and that’s why he needs a therapist. He said he understands that I’m not his therapist but then goes on to keep doing what he’s doing and it’s getting more and more. He’s now making me feel bad for not helping him with everything and telling him I need space. I want to help him and for him to get the help he needs

Oh ok. That probably explains why he does not understand when you explain the situation to him. He has had a really tough time it seems and is looking for someone he can trust (from family) and get some relief from his mental illnesses. It might well be that he does not realize the way he is doing it is not the best. Is there a way you guys could take/convince him to see a therapist? A therapist could help him understand that he can still be very close to all of you (his family) without coming in as too strong.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt is good in theory but I have been in abusive relationship and this is exactly what they did to me. It’s manipulative and it redirects the blame onto you and that is not where it belongs.

He says he is but then says he doesn’t want to be around other people, just me and my mom and mostly me. His mom has a lot of mental illnesses and we don’t know his bio father.

That’s tough. Is he lonely and maybe always wanted to be close to a younger sibling? It can be quite difficult when a person moves to a new place, especially for people who like to be surrounded by family and friends.

I’ve explained to him many times how it’s making me feel. Then he will get upset and hurt and go in his room and regress into himself and then he snaps.

Make your parents explain the situation to him maybe. He is probably being over-protective to you and does not realize what he is doing.

You can definitely pm me if you'd like

Honestly reading this made me uncomfortable for you. I agree with Maypie this is super creepy. I’m glad your parents are receptive because you shouldn’t feel bad in your own home !

I’ve talked to them.. they both fully believe me and yes he knocks and talks to me through the door. I do also lock the bathroom door but that’s a habit from when my niece was a little younger and just walked in when she was like 3 years old lol. He told my mom that “him living by himself is no longer an option” my mom said she’s gonna have to talk to him the next time she’s able to. My dads amazing at being very vocal about “oops you’re in your swing, you need to be alone, let me know if you need anything.” And will do so in front of him to try and get him to GET IT. NOPE. Even me telling him “I need to just calm down right now so I need to be alone” doesn’t work for more than 20 minutes. Can I PM you?

If you decide to talk to your parents about it, please explain specifically that you feel uncomfortable and potentially unsafe because of him.

Wow thats super creepy. Have you told your parents? They sound pretty supportive. If you explain everything including that he said he's "addicted" to you, that he stands outside your cracked door for like half an hour, and that he even checks on you in the shower which is super inappropriate, hopefully they'll get him away from you. If not, record next time you ask him about it and get proof of him saying the creepy crap and audibly say "why have you been staring into my cracked door for -x amount if time-?" or better yet record the door while you're showering in a way that if he cracks it open you'll be able to record his face (I REALLY HOPE HE ONLY KNOCKS AND TALKS TO YOU THROUGH THE DOOR BUT IF ITS MORE THAN THAT PLEASE PLEASE TELL YOUR PARENTS). Show your parents whatever recordings and evidence you have if they don't believe you. He is not acting in an acceptable or appropriate way at all.