Struggling with Chronic Illness and Intimacy

please read all if you have time. How do you guys with chronic illness manage a sexual relationship? Tonight I just feel absolutely disgusting and not attractive and unwanted. Its been three weeks since we have been intimate and tonight I was in less pain and feeling it. I cuddled with my husband and rested my hand on his lower belly. He invited me to go lower and I even felt his breathing change. He always initiates if he wants it and I often get turned down when I want it and he doesn't. But then he just wanted to go to bed after all that and its only 9:30 pm and wouldn't take longer than 20 minutes. Im just hurt. I wanted him to initiate if he actually wanted me but now hes asleep and Im crying silently because it hits hard. His sex drive used to be a couple times a week. I recently had to cut my hair by my husbands suggestion- like a long buzz cut. My hair was difficult to manage because of depression and pain. But Ive also gained 100 lbs in the last year and a half since being married due to meds and physical conditions.