Struggling with BPD and Fear of Abandonment

I'm starting to have bad spouts of BPD again 😔 Growing up in the foster care system did a toll on my emotional, and mental health. I have overwhelmed doubts and fears of abandonment (all the time) still even in my adult years. I'm constantly afraid to get too close or comfortable with people because I know when it's all said and done they're just going to end up walking out of my life anyway so why not get an early start of pushing them away before the bridge even comes tumbling down. 😔 I don't want to continue feeling like this because I know I'm stronger now, wiser, much better than I was before and im still a working progress. I just want to finally be able to feel genuinely wanted, needed, accepted, loved, ME!🥀