Share Your Mental Health Journey

Hello love❤️ since I was a very young child I have experienced to intense trauma. Bpd is something I struggle daily with. When I was 16 I wanted to kill myself I attempted many times from age 16 to age 23. My family and friends were very toxic. I push people away that are good but I don't want to be alone. I hurt so many people with all the chaos I started. I been admit to to a mental facility many times since I was a teenager, I suffered addiction drugs and alcohol. When I thought I was doing better and thought I was in a goof relationship for once it turned on me this man tried and almost killed me and he raped me. For years this man stalked me broke into house of mine and attempted to kill me. I loved this man I thought I didnt realize how toxic he was. I am now 35 years old I dont take meds but I see a therapist my life is a little bit in order, I have a great and healthy supportive bf that I constantly push away. But I always trying to get better

I've been struggling with my mental health for a very long time. I had body image issues and hated my body when I was 9 years old. When I was 10, I started to suffer from mild depression, but didn't know it at the time. I became severely depressed and s*icidal at 14 years old. I was admitted 3 times that year almost back to back into a mental health facility. They threw me on a bunch of meds that practically zombified me so I stopped taking them when I got home. I started therapy that same year. I remained depressed and when I was about 17 or 18, I decided to give medication another try. I could never find the right meds that would work for me. At 18 or 19, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder after the meds weren't fully working for me. At around 20, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, which my ex suspected I had after a toxic relationship from the both of us. I didn't know how to have a stable, healthy relationship and that's probably why my first love didn't last at 19. I didn't start to feel better until I was 21 and finally on the right concoction of meds. They worked for about two years until now, and now I'm having side effects that are no longer outweighing the benefits. I am now depressed again, but am working on finding the right meds for me so I can be happy again. I felt like I've never truly got the right concoction of meds, but I am trying my hardest to find that. I've tried a lot of different medication that hasn't worked for me. I don't think I'd be alive right now if it weren't for therapy though. Therapy truly saved my life and helped me work through a LOT of my childhood/adolescent and even adulthood traumas. I have learned how to have a healthy relationship and now have a fiancée and we are in a very happy, healthy relationship.