Obsessed with Cleanliness: My Struggle with Hygiene

i have an odd relationship with hygiene. now, i do want to preface that i don't really have issues generally taking care of myself (as in taking showers and things of the like) but my brain is still really weird about it. i have this odd thing that is basically an obsession with "clean." the best example i have right now, is ear wax. i know it's weird and obscure, maybe a bit TMI, but bare with me. i have a really big issue with ear wax. when i get out of the shower i *have* to clean out my ears with q-tips (even though i know how bad it is) but that isn't always enough. ive taken to this awful habit of scraping it out of my ears. i know, its is awful. its not really hurting me, but it does make me really make me worried about getting "caught," (im not doing anything wrong, but it's weird asf) and also about somehow hurting myself. ive been through deliberate self harm before, i don't want to do something stupid and hurt myself like this. thank you for listening to my rambles, any advice or input is nice but i also just wanted to vent a bit.