Autism is Draining: My Frustrations with Helping My Grandma Move

I’m really struggling to push myself to get my formal ADHD diagnosis, I’m just not feeling any motivation. The end of my year has been terrible my parents kicked me out, I’ve been going from person to person house to house. I’ve lost two jobs in the last couple of months the last was in childcare and I only worked 6 days out of 15 because I was really ill in my second week. I have no support, I was bullied at work, I’ve escaped domestic abuse from my parents and everything is just so stressful and I don’t have enough spoons for this it’s like 10 spoon day with only 2 spoons. I am struggling. My fiancés family are also useless his stepdad specifically said you’re not our problem I’ve had it worse than you then proceeded to tell me about a time he hit his alcoholic mother, that’s besides the point, my life has been a mess I was finally getting it together now I’m looking for new job also I might be pregnant which is great we’d love a baby I hope I am but also we can’t afford it unless I get a job quick and save absolutely all of my money. My fiancés mum even has £6000+ in savings for him for what she calls a big life decision but won’t help us by lending us the deposit so we can move in together, his stepdad wants him out she wants him to stay because she doesn’t want to live alone with her husband it’s a mess. I’m just about ready to give up move away start my new life with him and potentially a baby and never talk to anyone else again. My life has been so exhausting from the minute I was born, I was abused my entire life I don’t need to be dealing with anyone else’s family drama even if I plan on marrying into it. This much stress before would’ve been life or death for me but it’s life or disappear somewhere peaceful with the man I love to raise a family and tune out the noise like genuinely considering going fully off grid and just claiming my part of my family land building a house and living life in the sun away from the drama, I need a holiday like I just need my first ever holiday to get away from everyone and everything and relax and distract myself. I just want my brain to slow down and be quiet for once. Also my lungs have not recovered from whatever this Illness was and I just permanently have an asthma cough and a cold it seems which is always great. Sorry for the rant just needed to get it out

Feeling Exhausted from Visiting Nursing Homes

I’m sick and tired of my family I live with getting angry with me for not functioning like a normal human being when I’m literally fighting for my life and my sanity and I’m in constant turmoil and pain. I’m suffering but they don’t see how much I am trying so hard to keep it together. My grandmother pressures me to attend work every day when some days I am not able to and I need a day of rest. To me, I rather lose this job and keep my sanity and heal rather than keep this job and have something really bad happen. She always gives me this look of like “get it together” and says “you need to snap out of it” and “you need to do your part.” Like seriously have no no idea what I’m going through so stop.