Adapting Movie Character Traits - Symptom of Something?

As someone whose had severe ocd their whole life, this definitely sounds similar to what I deal with. Although, with ocd, the symptoms don’t really “go away.” I’d recommend seeing a professional psychiatrist who could properly evaluate you. Because often some disorders can mimic others so you can never be too sure.

it could be Bipolar

At least in California, therapists only have to tell authorities if they think there's a strong chance you'll hurt yourself or others. As long as you don't actually mean to cause anyone harm, you can (and should) tell your therapist about everything that's bothering you. I'm still trying to get out of feeling ashamed when I talk to my therapist about how I'm really doing, it's okay to be nervous to tell them, you just gotta make that leap of faith like hashtaghopie talked about

You could always do some research on the laws about that where u live before u tell ur therapist too🙃

Awwww well im glad I could help. I know what ur going through to some extent because I have OCD and ur situation sounds pretty similar to mine back in the day lol. I mean I still have to deal w/OCD but now I'm on meds so I don't have to deal w/stupid intrusive thoughts telling me things that I know deep down isn't true about myself. One of the key signs of OCD is having intrusive thoughts that you want gone and then feeling like you have to do something to make those thoughts go away. For instance, an example of this would be like if someone thought because they liked the Joker as a character, that automatically makes them a bad person so they try to "fix it" by doing some routine or ritual like telling themselves ok im not gonna think about the joker anymore or maybe it would be like ok im not gonna watch anything w/the Joker anymore. However, this is kind of jumping the gun cuz just cuz this person likes the Joker as a character, doesn't automatically mean that person wants to do bad things. It can but most likely no since psychopaths are pretty rare at least to my knowledge. Anyways, my point is that they could simply like the character because that character has an intriguing backstory and makes an excellent villain. They might like that the character isn't static but dynamic or could become dynamic and that is fine. That is just part of human curiosity and creativity since that person doesn't actually want to be like the Joker. Now, I do believe that what you decide to look at and/or hear can affect your thinking negatively but I think if you're able to discern what is right and wrong and you truly want to do what's right or try to do what's right, then you should be able to filter out bad stuff. Also, as for hating yourself, you shouldn't cuz ur human no matter what you've done or think you've done. You seem like you want to try to do what's right and care about how your actions affect others. Otherwise, why else would you even be on here taking the time to consider this? As for your therapist, I know it can be really scary to tell the truth to them cuz I have a therapist too but if you don't, they can't try to help you. It comes down to trust. Do you think you can trust that person with these thoughts you're having? The only way I found out if I could truly trust my therapist was by taking a leap of faith and being honest. And btw, I believe by law at least in America (which is where I live), therapists can't go talking about ur medical info. It's strictly confidential. Although, it does become a little sticky if ur a minor cuz they might have to tell ur parent or guardian if you say you want to hurt someone or yourself. However, I don't think that's the case when you're an adult. I think they have to like really know if you're gonna actually hurt someone before they tell authorities. But take my word w a grain of salt cuz I'm not a lawyer either lol

i really appreciate you helping me out i'm like tearing up lol i never have intentions to harm others but do sometimes feel like harming myself only because i'd have so much self hate for thinking ive done something wrong like the character. i hate feeling like this after i watch a movie or tv show. i would say i'm a very creative person and maybe i just do like to pretend i'm someone else, i'll mention it to my therapist but i'm just scared she'll have me committed or something if i tell the truth. thanks again for reaching out

Hey! Tbh im not a medical doctor but I doubt you're insane. This kind of sounds like maybe a case of OCD. In fact, I once read on an OCD site, that if you are wondering if you're insane, you're probably not because sociopaths and psychopaths don't really think they're insane. As for the "adapting," you might just like acting lol which is fine. I myself am an aspiring actress and it can be fun to get into the minds of villains and to pretend to be someone else for the sake of enjoying being creative. Although, since I don't know you, you might be someone who has intentions of actually wanting to harm others or yourself. In that case, it's most likely a mental illness of some sort that you should go see a psychiatrist or therapist for. I think you just have to ask yourself what your intentions are. Do you really want those so-called bad traits? Do you want to act on them? Personally, I don't think you do because if you did, you probably wouldn't care enough to post about it on here which tells me you have some empathy. However, again, I don't know you lol.

i've had other symptoms too, this one just has been worrying me lately