Struggling with BPD: Is There Any Hope?

I feel like there is zero hope for me. I've been in therapy since I was 11. I've been hospitalized 4 times (twice in 2022). I've been in multiple intensive treatment programs and BPD continues to be so intense. I'm trying to be better and actively work through issues but idk how much more treatment, how many more doctors and therapists I can go through before I completely give up. Everything is so complicated and my brain is so complicated it hurts so much. Nobody understands. Nobody REALLY understands. No book or article or studies the people around me read will ever get them to understand. At the end of the day they just see a crazy person. Every day feels like I'm waiting for death. Going to a new treatment program and left my job because I need to have a single track mind on getting better but now I just feel like a worthless piece of shit. Every day is pain and torment. At least when I was working I'd just dissociate the entire day and survive but now idk