Struggling with Type 1 Diabetes and Disordered Eating

I struggled with this when I was younger. I became aware that restricting insulin resulted in weight loss, but it wasn’t something I started doing on purpose. My relationship with my first husband turned abusive after I had our first child. Financial abuse was part of it, and I was told that we could not afford my insulin, and I was also not allowed to get a job to afford it myself, as my job was to stay with the kids so he could continue to work his low paying job that didn’t allow for me to have my “life juice.” As a result of not having insulin on a regular basis, I frequently went into DKA and was the smallest I had ever been in my life. I was very sick, but I remember hearing the number after they weighed me at the hospital, and being pleased at that number. From that point on, it was something I never let go of, and I found myself voluntarily withholding insulin at times when it was available to me. I did this a lot when I was younger. A little too much. I’m now 44 and I’ve been diagnosed with gastroparesis. I can only blame myself for it. I think that facing a consequence of my actions (inactions, depending on how you look at it) has snapped me back into reality. I hope it’s not too late and I don’t suffer any more complications because I didn’t do what I was supposed to.

My husband has been type 1 diabetic for over 15 years and yes it’s extremely difficult at times especially with inflation and food being so expensive and also Hispanic it’s a struggle