witchywitch

64d

My boyfriend always makes these little comments like “you should play guitar more” and “you should practice drawing more”. I know they’re well meaning and he’s just trying to be encouraging but they irk me to no end and make me want to do those things even less than I already did. I feel like he’s telling me what to do, and if I do practice guitar or whatever it’s just because he told me to. Why is this??

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Attention-Deficit Disorder

Depression

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  • michaway

    64d

    I do the exact same thing! I think it stems from me not liking being told what to do, because I don't like being treated like a child.

    • witchywitch

      64d

      omg yes thank you I’m so glad I’m not the only one

  • KittyRosa

    64d

    I think a lot of struggle with this because it has to do with people taking us seriously, which is tied with not being treated like a child. It could be that he means to encourage you and is coming from a good place. But I think it is really important to communicate. You need to express how this does what it does and maybe see if you can suggest another way to encourage you instead.

    • witchywitch

      63d

      that’s a great idea thank you :) a lot of times I just worry that he’ll think I’m overreacting if I tell him how I feel about little things like this

      • KittyRosa

        63d

        your very welcome. It is all about the approach. Try starting the conversation with, you might not see it like this but this is how I am taking it and how it makes me feel. It asks for him to understand how you feel but you are also acknowledging that he sees it differently... both are important

  • Lin92

    63d

    Sounds like PDA. I am the same way with my art. I don't like doing it when its expected or encouraged lol.

    • Lin92

      63d

      People with add/ADHD, BPD, bipolar etc struggle with Pathological Demand Avoidance. Even something they love doing becomes undesirable as soon as it feels like an expectation.

      • AriJuda

        61d

        I always forget about this smh

  • AriJuda

    61d

    my god, yeah. I hate being told what to do, it just triggers this automatic defiance. if people are polite I'm fine but I do not take orders.

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