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My boyfriend's comments are driving me crazy

witchywitch

576d

My boyfriend always makes these little comments like “you should play guitar more” and “you should practice drawing more”. I know they’re well meaning and he’s just trying to be encouraging but they irk me to no end and make me want to do those things even less than I already did. I feel like he’s telling me what to do, and if I do practice guitar or whatever it’s just because he told me to. Why is this??

5

9

9

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)

Attention-Deficit Disorder

Depression

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Top reply
    • AriEden

      572d

      @Lin92 I always forget about this smh

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    • AriEden

      572d

      my god, yeah. I hate being told what to do, it just triggers this automatic defiance. if people are polite I'm fine but I do not take orders.

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    • Lin92

      574d

      Sounds like PDA. I am the same way with my art. I don't like doing it when its expected or encouraged lol.

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      • Lin92

        574d

        @Lin92 People with add/ADHD, BPD, bipolar etc struggle with Pathological Demand Avoidance. Even something they love doing becomes undesirable as soon as it feels like an expectation.

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        • AriEden

          572d

          @Lin92 I always forget about this smh

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    • KittyRosa

      575d

      I think a lot of struggle with this because it has to do with people taking us seriously, which is tied with not being treated like a child. It could be that he means to encourage you and is coming from a good place. But I think it is really important to communicate. You need to express how this does what it does and maybe see if you can suggest another way to encourage you instead.

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      • witchywitch

        575d

        @KittyRosa that’s a great idea thank you :) a lot of times I just worry that he’ll think I’m overreacting if I tell him how I feel about little things like this

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        • KittyRosa

          575d

          @witchywitch your very welcome. It is all about the approach. Try starting the conversation with, you might not see it like this but this is how I am taking it and how it makes me feel. It asks for him to understand how you feel but you are also acknowledging that he sees it differently... both are important

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    • michaway

      576d

      I do the exact same thing! I think it stems from me not liking being told what to do, because I don't like being treated like a child.

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      • witchywitch

        576d

        @michaway omg yes thank you I’m so glad I’m not the only one

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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