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Cowboy_frog

410d

My friend keeps telling me about this person I’ve repeatedly told him I dislike, no matter how many times I tell him to not point out, set up hangouts or send videos of them to me he keeps ignoring my wishes for a boundary. Ik he doesn’t mean harm and he’s friends with them which is fine I just ask that he doesn’t go out of his way to try to get us to hangout or send videos of them to me. What do I do? They’re my best friend and I’m not good at making friends so I don’t think I have any option besides ignore it despite it really bothering me.

Top reply
    • ajar

      410d

      Like the other person said I'd sit em down and say "look I feel like I've been pretty clear on the fact that I don't want to be involved with this person and it feels like that boundary I've set is being consistently ignored. If it continues to happen, I will no longer respond as to maintain the boundary myself." Or whatever you feel you'll need to do to uphold it. Try to avoid using "you" statements, "you did this" "you did that", because even though it's true it can put the other person on guard to try and defend themselves instead of trying to fix the behavior. Focus on what's going on with you, and help them see it from your perspective

    • Cara55

      410d

      Sorry bubs

    • ajar

      410d

      Like the other person said I'd sit em down and say "look I feel like I've been pretty clear on the fact that I don't want to be involved with this person and it feels like that boundary I've set is being consistently ignored. If it continues to happen, I will no longer respond as to maintain the boundary myself." Or whatever you feel you'll need to do to uphold it. Try to avoid using "you" statements, "you did this" "you did that", because even though it's true it can put the other person on guard to try and defend themselves instead of trying to fix the behavior. Focus on what's going on with you, and help them see it from your perspective

      • Cowboy_frog

        410d

        @ajar good tips

      • ajar

        410d

        @ajar Also make sure they know that you're okay with them being friends with the other person, you personally just don't want to be

    • Floof96

      410d

      I suggest having a sit down conversation with your best friend and tell them how you feel very disrespected by them ignoring your boundaries. Stand your ground, but if all else fails I honestly would suggest an ultimatum

      • Cowboy_frog

        410d

        @Floof96 okay

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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