Struggling to Stay Kind: Need Advice

I had a very similar thing growing up as a devout Christian. I was the teachers pet, all the parents loved me, the full nine yards. One thing I started doing to stop people pleasing is don't offer to do something you don't want to do! If you see someone carrying a bunch of garbage bags and you don't want to get dirty, don't offer to help. If your mom has so many dishes to wash and you have homework, do the hw and don't offer to help. But never outside your ethical boundaries, if their is a child in danger or something help them lol the main point to this tactic is to understand that your preferences actually matter, other peoples "needs" are not your responsibility, because after a while you will understand the difference between peoples needs and wants. Manipulators (probably similar to the people you grew up with) will find out what makes you happy and feel needed and use that to motivate you to make you do whatever they want. So many people have been manipulated by their families and go into the world and get used because they are "nice". You got this, don't be afraid of yourself if you go too far on the selfish side, it will balance out with boundaries eventually. Trusting yourself and asking for time to think about decisions is key! You got this!