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puffypillar

447d

If someone asks for help, I'll help them in a heartbeat, but why can't ppl help me like I do them. I'm there for everyone and in my time of crisis, I get jack. why does no one like me.

Top reply
    • susuwatari

      447d

      I think a lot of it comes down to most people don't actually know how to "be there" for other people in times of crisis, at least personally, I find it easier to because I struggle with mental health, I know what can help. Neurotypicals tend to avoid these hard situations, I don't know your situation obviously, but I'm sure it's not because nobody likes you! If you need any support my dms are open 💕

    • unicorn

      447d

      I can really relate. As I’ve been in therapy, I’ve realized that it has more to do with me than with the people around me, though. My therapist pointed out to me a while ago that I have some dependent/codependent traits, which was hard to accept, but it has been really insightful. I realized that I’m actually giving TOO MUCH of myself. I have a hard time saying no, I let my sister emotionally dump on me, I make huge efforts to help people, etc. and feel frustrated when I don’t receive it in return. I’ve come to see that for me, it can go as far as kind of relying on others to meet all of my emotional needs or “save” me in a sense. Anyway, something I’ve been working on lately is being aware of my codependent traits, setting boundaries, and putting in only as much effort as I receive from other people. I still help, but without sacrificing myself and my well-being for others because it is a heavy burden to carry other people’s struggles on top of my own. It can be hard to adjust, especially as I watch my sister struggle and I just want to swoop in and fix everything, but I know it is what is best for me and my mental health, and probably also best for her in her particular situation. It can feel selfish, but I promise it isn’t. We are not meant to give our all in relationships. Ideally, they should be equally yoked.

      • 4byfour

        447d

        @unicorn same. It’s actually been really nice, surprisingly. I started to realize all my friends were ‘clients’ as opposed to friends, and I realized why a lot of people didn’t want to be friends with me. It’s really helped me figure out who’s a good friend and who isn’t, too. I don’t even have to figure it out, it’s just there. Maybe if I share something about myself they switch the subject, so when they talk about themselves I keep it surface level/superficial. Maybe they contribute to the conversation really intently instead and I’ll build on that conversation with them 🤷‍♀️ I’ve learned it’s not about my worth. Sometimes people just don’t have the room for another person in their lives at that moment, or are close minded about who they wanna get along with. It does hurt a lot, though, when I give so much and someone doesn’t value it, because my attention is worth a lot. It’s hard to watch people take so so so much with no remorse for it.

      • unicorn

        447d

        @unicorn I don’t know if this is the case for you. These are just my thoughts on the subject 😊

    • Ashcookie

      447d

      I know I get it I'm there ready to sacrifice it all for my friends and they won't do the same to me. I realized not to depend on other people since my problems aren't their problems so this is why I don't tell anyone anything. The only people who I rely on to help is my family that's it not even my bestest friends. Maybe try to reach out to your family I'm sure they'd help you really since family comes first.

    • Gingeralamode

      447d

      I have heard of this so much from people I care about or just people I talk to. Trying to find spaces to help with issues definitely helped me personally when I have faced this.

    • SizzleNickel

      447d

      I’m the same way

    • Eren2273

      447d

      If you're treated this way by your friends, you should make new ones who respect you :)

    • susuwatari

      447d

      I think a lot of it comes down to most people don't actually know how to "be there" for other people in times of crisis, at least personally, I find it easier to because I struggle with mental health, I know what can help. Neurotypicals tend to avoid these hard situations, I don't know your situation obviously, but I'm sure it's not because nobody likes you! If you need any support my dms are open 💕

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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