Dealing with Domestic Abuse and Suicidal Ideation

I have been through sexual abuse and suffer from ptsd

First, I want to say that you are an incredibly strong human being. Going through any type of abuse at any age is incredibly hard and for you to have gone through that and come out on the other side proves how resilient your are. Secondly, I want to assure you that nothing you have done has caused this, abusers will deflect the responsibility of their abusive actions on to others but that doesn't mean they aren't completely responsible for their actions. You do not deserve to be treated like that. My partner and I both had a string of abusive relationships before we met. He is no less a man and I am no less a woman because of the people who hurt us. Finally, I want to remind you that you owe no one an explanation. You can take some time off work, if you feel comfortable asking a boss or coworker for help you can do that but there is no pressure to share any personal issues with any one in your life. The best thing you can do right now is find a trusted person in your life to help get you out of that situation, this can be anyone you feel comfortable with that you trust will get you help. You don't have to tell this person exactly what's going on, you can simply say you and your ex have broken up and you need some help moving away. Once you are away from your abuser you can begin the process of healing. No matter what, I and the rest of this community will support you and help you in any way possible. We believe you, we see you, and we will be here every step of the way.