Struggling with Inner Shame and Self-Compassion

Sorry for delay Blinkerbeforebrake - I saw her for about a year. My new ocd therapist starts March 3

As strange as it sounds, I have the voice of my therapist in my head. I tell myself what I’ve been told by her before. For example if I tell myself “why can’t you even pick up your clothes or wash your dishes. Not even wash it out? Come on it’s not that hard or stressful” and then I’ll “hear” her say “do you know how many people come to therapy for that reason? They think something is wrong with them because they can’t clean. But you also have ADHD. It makes it so much harder, because you have to break down tasks, find the energy for each step, stay motivated for each step of the task, and then once you’re on a roll, it’s done and it’s really hard to change tasks. Is there something you can do to help make it easier for you? Like distracting yourself with podcasts or music? What do you like to do? Also can the task wait until you have the energy to do it?” Having another voice or person asking you these things can help you see yourself as a person who has a disorder that people joke as being “chronically lazy”. Systems that work to motivate people without ADHD probably won’t work or at least won’t work for long. Journaling, bulletjournals, planners, calendars, etc. can be super overwhelming. Sometimes all we can do is do parts of the task, and then we run out of spoons. If someone you know did that, would you be proud of them for trying? If so, what makes you different that you can’t be proud of yourself for doing what you can?

I think that all the "problems" we have just made us who we are today. Everyone is unique and special, we don't really know what others struggle with so we should be kind to others and to ourselves in the same way.

I started talking to myself, in the beginning it felt really weird but now I find it helpful to reduce self criticism and motivate myself. I say things like "you go girl, you can do it, i love you, its ok just stand up and keep going"..

How long have you been seeing your therapist? We’re doing inner child work now, and she doesn’t think I’m ready for EMDR yet. It’s been about 3 months for me.

I’m struggling with this, too. I just started reading How to Do the Work by the Holistic Psychologist and I can tell it will be a game changer. My most recent therapist also helped me realize my self worth with inner child work and CBT. I’m still struggling with it a lot, and it comes in heavy waves.