Struggling with PCOS and Menstruation

I'm brand new on here, found this app last night and thank god lol. I've been curled up in a ball since yesterday from pain and just wanna vent/talk to people who get it 😓 PCOS really just messes me all up. I've went most of my life rarely getting periods until I was diagnosed. I was on BC for a while and now it's been a couple years. Well the last 6 months or so my periods have finally been regulating out!!!! on their own!!! which is bittersweet... (I think my stress levels were a huge factor, life's been rough).. the last few periods of mine have been light and not too bad, I thought maybe I'm just lucky now (moreso HOPING) and the awful periods I used to have were in the past. I was wrong. this one? I'm clotting and bleeding so bad again, cramping, nauseous, have no energy, my head kills. it's debilitating. I knew that if I had a period this month it would be bad because the last week before I started, my moods have been almost as debilitating trying to deal with. ya girl would be minding her own business, and start bawling or get unnecessarily just angry and frustrated with everything/everyone. they'd switch so quickly and intensely. it's like either I get no periods or they end up being brutal. sometimes I really wish I could just get all the parts ripped out, especially not ever wanting kids 🙃 (plus there's genetic reasons why I don't feel right having kids even if I wanted them). sorry just being a crybaby but man I'm so sick of my body not being able to function right. SIDE NOTE: when I was diagnosed, it was originally from a cyst bigger than my ovary bursting and it landed me in the ER. once I saw my PCP I had blood tests done, all my levels were normal besides my anti-mullerian hormone being sky high, which I've never heard of until then and I'm curious if anyone else has the same issue? thanks for reading I'm just struggling today 😞