Feeling Alone After Trauma and Loss

I’m feeling so alone. The one person who understood what I went through killed himself. It just hurts so bad. My reality is so unstable because of all the gaslighting. I’ll probably want to delete this as soon as I post it. I’m grateful I can now put these feelings into words, it helps things feel more concrete and helps me define the facets of reality. Constantly hearing family members reassuring our abuser that she had nothing to do with his death hurts. Obviously I don’t blame her completely but it hurts to know that now no one will acknowledge the pain and the damage she inflicted. To me it’s the invisible elephant in the room. She holds so much power over everyone, a master manipulator. I have no idea who is completely oblivious and who is also under her thumb. It’s disheartening.