Gizmoe

181d

Feeling useless. I started fire school on Sunday and I buried myself in reading my chapters today and threw myself into a panic attack basically because I couldn't remember if my instructor told us to do what's in our work book as we as read the chapter. So I started doing some of the work book stuff. I finish the Vocabulary, my dad grabs my books from me and throws them onto the couch across the room and says your done. Relax. That was my escape... my parents fight constantly and I work a full time job but hear all about it on my days off. My Instructor did get back to me and told me to just read the chapters and my dad said "I worry to much." And that just started everything. I shut down and played on my phone. I hate being told I worry to much when I honestly could not remember what my instructor told us to do before Saturday. My dad makes me feel bad for working a full time job because then he has to do everything around the house. And I get told I'm basically lazy when I don't wanna do anything before/after work or on my days off....

Depression

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  • seaturtlrs

    181d

    I understand that

  • smilebig98

    181d

    Well let's focus on you and what you need in this moment you know? Sounds like your dad has a lot of influence on you. Rightly so, he's your dad. But if he doesn't understand you need someone to be bit more understanding, it's up to you to find the time and space to get away, regroup, breathe and then finally get back to what needs to be done you know?

    • Gizmoe

      181d

      I literally have no where else to go to get away. I mean I could get in my car and drive but gas is $5 a gallon here and I'm broke with being behind on my bills. And I could go back to the firehall but I don't know who is all back there until I get back there

      • smilebig98

        181d

        any parks that are walkable or coffee house or anything near you?

  • smilebig98

    181d

    Even just maybe in the backyard. Get some fresh air. Listen to a podcast while you're out there.like Don't be afraid to think good thoughts you know?

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