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Danny_Daydreams

633d

I've suffered really bad depression for most of my life, I'm diagnosed with MDD, I was in therapy for years, I've used self harm as a way to cope, and I've tried to end my own life. This last year has been one of the best years of my life. I used to isolate myself all the time, I never hung out with friends, I never did anything. but this last year I've gone out and I've done things and I've been so happy and social. My dad used to constantly tell me to get out more and make friends. He just told me that maybe if I hadn't spent time with people this last year and if I hadn't been as active maybe I wouldn't be so worried about my exams on Friday. I went to him because I was nervous and I just wanted comfort and he basically called me a fucking idiot and he said that maybe if I wasnt so negative I'd do better, and all I had said to him was that I was nervous and worried. I just wanted my dad to be there for me. I just wanted someone to talk to. I don't know why I keep trying, it always ends like this. I just want him to be supportive. I didn't want my own happiness to be such a negative thing and for it to be used against me. I just started university and I have to become a CNA and Im so terrified I'm not gonna pass and I'm so stressed out. I just wanted him to be there for me.

    • juliecarlstan

      632d

      Sounds like you should b really proud of yourself. Your dad seems scared and intimidated by a threat to his little Danny D., that he doesn't understand, and feels defensive (maybe?) From a hurt ego not being able to be the proud protector, and not understanding you. He's lashing out severely. You be super proud of you! And (again, maybe) stop looking for support where you keep getting hurt. You can do all these things, i bet you can build supportive relationships elsewhere. Give you both time and a little space to grow. Your father may see you much more grown up, when he comes around. And he will. Just to be clear- I'm not suggesting cutting an important part of your family out of your life. I just want you to be able to recognize inappropriate emotional boundaries, and the damage that can be allowed in. Somebody said 'we teach people how to treat us' kinda deep, really hard.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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