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alliillaalli

545d

I'm really sad. I had a group of friends for about four years who I love wholeheartedly. we were neighbors up until three years ago, and I considered them family. when I moved, they dropped off almost entirely. barely responded to messages, no calls, no visits. my kids were best friends with their kids so I've tried so many times to make plans. it just hurts me to my core tbh. it's like I was only a convenience to them, and once I wasn't there to babysit, give them toilet paper, feed them, they just couldn't be bothered anymore. I cried and grieved over those relationships more than any romantic one I've had and still do. they really did mean the world to me, and I am of no consequence. I don't think I ever was, but I still love and miss them. today I planned to get some chores done. I followed up about some Halloween plans I was trying to make with them first. now, I am in bed crying, and wanting so badly just to go back to that time for one day. I remember my last day there, I just sat outside on the porch and took in everything I could, to always remember and revisit that home, and those people. I knew that we would see each other less, but I didn't know that they wouldn't want to see me at all. the worst of it all is the run around. I would so much prefer if they had just blocked me, or told me to fuck off, or even would do that now. instead they imply that I should keep that door open, and never walk through it. I wish that I could be more grown about this, and just let go of the idea that they are or even were my friends. I'm usually the first to cut someone off and the last to ever pick them back up again, but for these girls specifically, I have been mourning for years. I just want it to end.

    • SalineTurnip

      487d

      How are you doing? I understand a little of what you're going through. I had my best (and oldest) friend of many years ghost me after I moved away. I would call him, no answer. I texted him and he would text me back short answers some time later until eventually he stopped texting me at all. I was so hurt. It's been some months but I do feel better. And I understand not blocking them - I didn't block him either. I'm not hopeful that he'll text me - I just don't feel the need to block him. Anyway, I hope you're doing better.

    • HerbalJelly

      544d

      I've only had two real friends through the years. We don't speak for months, but can talk all day when we can and it's like no time has passed. That being said, I was the one that moved and I've tried making friends here, but I just keep getting users or "nice guys" waiting to get in my pants. I am tired and sick of being lonely, but making friends around me is hurting me too.

      • alliillaalli

        544d

        @HerbalJelly I feel that. I don't even try to make male friends anymore because I know it will never be an actual friendship. And I haven't tried making friends in my area because it is a baaaadddd area, like, the other moms at my kids school are on meth and everyone can tell but no one even says anything.. lots of kids being raised by grandparents, lots of abuse and neglect. I haven't met people here that I could ever get along with and I'm not the type who can watch a child suffer and look the other way. I had settled into just looking at no one until I've moved somewhere better again, but housing prices went insane and I am stuck here. Gonna be a lonely few years.

        • KratomEater

          512d

          @alliillaalli I’m a guy, happily in a relationship but, if you’re needing to talk ever just message me. No weird stuff, no strings. I’m just here.

        • HerbalJelly

          544d

          @alliillaalli I feel you and I am there. In the mean time, I've created online friendships through mobile game guilds. Nothing too deep, but enough that I can say hi and someone will get back to me or mention a topic I've recently binged and have a conversation about it. I miss going out for a tea with friends though or just the morning after hangouts where we are all quiet and eating breakfast and scrolling on our phones. I keep saying it'll be better when I move but, the pandemic lost me the job I was moving for and now the housing market is shot. My therapist says to just tell myself this hell scape is only temporary, so I don't go insane.

    • KratomEater

      544d

      I’m so sorry, this happens all to often 🥺. It’s hard know you meant nothing to the people that meant the most to you😭 hang in there Allii 🫶🏽

      • KratomEater

        512d

        @KratomEater Sorry apparently I can’t type

      • alliillaalli

        544d

        @KratomEater thank you ❤️

    • DariaFae

      545d

      Same here... all the friends I get once I stop giving them stuff food rides whatever they need they stop talking to me and act like I'm the mean one when I'm being used. I just wish I could find decent humans in the Pittsburgh area that just wants to be friends. And I am a b****h lol but I hate females. I get along with males much more but they only want sex or don't want to be friends either... Much love to you 💕 it will get better. You are better than those users. Just block them and delete them forget about them they don't care about what they had they only care about what they have right now. Typical selfish ignorant humans. Your better than that and quit being down over them. You are better than that. Know your worth, forget them and move on. Yes easier said than done. And yes some days will be easier than others especially for your kids but they will understand one day too. Good luck to you. I am always looking for more people to talk to if I'm not scaring you off lol. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 Life is amazing and every situation is how you make it... you can't change the situation but you can change your reactions. 💕

      • KratomEater

        544d

        @DariaFae hell yeah!

      • alliillaalli

        544d

        @DariaFae yeah I really should block them but I can't bring myself to do it. They still mean something to me, even tho I never did to them :/ and thank you!! I'd love to keep in touch! ☺️

    • Triple_C

      545d

      I’m so sorry 😢 my friend…. The same exact thing happened to me when I got sick with Terminal Lupus, every single supposed friend of mine just took they’re selves out of my life because they told me that they couldn’t stand to see me suffer… guess they weren’t my true friends at all!! I’m always here if u need to talk or anything.. in in FB under Breann Van Fleet. U can message me anytime u feel u need support or help ok!! I mean it!! Sucks when no one understands what you’re going through!! Hang in here kitten!! Keep your head up!! Here for u if u ever need, k!!:))

      • alliillaalli

        544d

        @Triple_C Thank you! I will try and find your profile so I can add you. Lupus was/is one of the things that's I've thought I had and haven't been able to catch. I'm so sorry you're going through it, and that your friends left you to go through it alone.

    • Tay333

      545d

      I think that they were never your real friends to begin with, I moved from my home town into a new city and still talk to my old friends after 4 years, I think that it’s sad how those people took advantage of your kindness but I’m sure you’ll find new friends

      • alliillaalli

        544d

        @Tay333 I agree. I don't think I want new friends tho tbh. That's too much effort and love to just keep throwing away, and this happens every time.

☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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