PTSD preventing me from seeking therapy

I get this feeling all the time- from phone calls to texting a dependent to keeping a job without being an absolute people pleaser because of my fears. Finding out exactly why you become triggered is key to overcoming it one day. I also know how you feel about therapists. I’ve had a few since I was a kid and most of the time I would act like I knew everything as a defense mechanism. Just remember that a good therapist is like a practice relationship- and that anything you say or do in response to something they say will not effect your relationship with them, as it should hopefully be a one sided relationship

Honestly..mine prevents me from even going to the store,somedays

Honestly my PTSD does prevent me from wanting therapy because therapists have traumatized me. Ive met many in my years and while some do shit that is harmful and even malpractice worthy, Ive never had any of them lecture or speak to me in a way any of my abusers have. They are trained to be patient with a client when they arent doing well, getting things done, or snaps at them. And their mode of judgement is mostly ‘I see this person needs help with X’. Only a bad therapist would sit there and shamefully lecture. I completely understand what you are feeling as I have the same trigger. Honestly you going to a therapist and in that first session discussing that trigger could ease the anxiety and let that person know its a soft spot. That would be a big step for you but developing the ability to communicate such a trigger to someone who is trained to deal with triggers is an important asset. I wish you the best on dealing with this trigger. ❤️

Therapists don't do anything like that, they're not allowed to lol. They're trained to stay calm and keep a soft voice so their client can feel safe.