PTSD and Healthy Relationships: A Struggle to Cope

Yes, this is exactly how I feel. When people treat me with kindness, I grow extremely fearful that they have ulterior motives, that it'll hurt more when they eventually hurt me, or, as you said, I'll mess things up. I have gotten severe anxiety attacks and trauma episodes triggered by something as innocent as a hug. Living with PTSD is incredibly difficult. Sometimes I feel like it's my entire identity. The only advice I can give—if you're looking for any advice in the first place—is to be patient with yourself. It can be hard to be fair to yourself, but I found that treating yourself with gentleness and kindness that you'd show a friend can really go a long way, even if you can't believe the things you're telling yourself.