I havent done the dishes is about a month. its never gone that long before. we dont have a dishwasher. I asked my husband to help me and he just shruggs it off. My mom told me the other day, "why aren't you doing it? you used to be so proud of your house." I am proud but with my depression how it is it grows and grows until its too big to handle by myself and I get overwhelmed when I try. I just struggle and give up. Anyone else like this or got tips?
hii I struggle with this too :( maybe you can try setting small goals for yourself. for example, instead of saying “I’m going to wash all the dishes” set a timer for 5 minutes and just do as much as you can. when the timer goes off I bet you’ll want to keep going anyways! but if you don’t, don’t force it. just pat yourself on the back for the progress you’ve made and try again later. good luck!
thanks. I've thought about that but just cleaning out the sink to get ready to wash would count as 5mins. And then I'd have dirty dishes everywhere but in my sink. Lol.
You can try a bucket. Like put some hot soapy water in it and put it in the tub for any splashes and just wash a few dishes in there. Getting creative about ways to make incremental progress has been very helpful for me.
I struggled with this as well. My whole house I use take pride and joy. And now I find a struggle to just clean 1 bedroom. I’m so sorry you going though this. I understand it so well. Take a breather for a min. Tell yourself you can do this. Maybe put on some music on maybe that can help. You are a great wife and you need to know that. Sometimes husband don’t understand as much. Sending hugs your way.
Don't limit yourself to just one area or thing to clean. Just clean something, somewhere. A couple dishes here, a few pieces of laundry there, etc. And don't try to force yourself to do it for 'this long' or 'for this many dishes.' Just do a few here and there. Even a little bit done is better than none.
I struggle with this too. I’ve found that it helps me to use disposable plates.
we moved into a place with no dishwasher and it just destroyed me. Not only that but my brother is disgusting and I'm not cleaning up after a grown man. So we use paper plates and plastic utensils.
Do a little at a time. In the meantime use paper plates & plastic forks. That way you aren't adding to the rest. Start by emptying the sink & stacking the dishes in manageable piles. I know it will look worse at first but each pile you get through will make you feel better & will give you visible goals. I get overwhelmed easily too. I have to say small goals so I don't get stressed. Once everything is done & out away you can choose whether to stick with paper plates or go back to your dishes. In the future try washing things as they are used. Try not to let it build back up.
I spend like 10 minutes just organizing the dishes and it really helps. Pile them up "in order" so they're as neat as they can be. If that's all you can get done, it's a good start.
It's extra hard when you don't have adequate support. I wish your husband would help you but I don't know if he's just being unhelpful or if he's also busy or exhausted with other responsibilities. Feeling alone can make depression worse. I'm new to this app but there was a "celebrate milestones" discussion category. Maybe posting little successes here could help you. Best of luck. :)
I am 100% like this too! Don’t feel alone at all! When my depression is super bad I will absolutely avoid doing the dishes, sweeping or even most cleaning in general. Like I know the mess makes me feel worse but I can’t find the motivation to do anything about it other than feel bad. I sometimes try to just do 1 task a day or at a time and then reward my self with a show/movie/chapter in a book to help motivate me. Or I’ve even done the whole,okay you do the dishes then you can order the weird this on Amazon that you want. I like rewards so I’ve found that that is a great system for me. Hope it gets better for you soon! You can pull through it. Sometime it just takes a little more time. As long as your moving forward, it doesn’t matter how fast you go!
I do dishes while listening to my favorite music.
This may help or may become unwieldy.... But in order to clear out the sink, my sister and I would get large plastic clothing bins for the dishes, just to make room in the sink. Also run the water. It's a waste of water, but the foul smell prevents me from starting, and chronically soaking/rinsing with fresh water will help a bit. For me it feels rough to start dishes with no room in the sink, so having a clean place to start is the best way to make it seem manageable.
It becomes unwieldy if you move the dishes to the bin and don't start immediately. And more pile up and then You have to get a second bin.
This isn’t the most cost effective or eco friendly solution but I am guilty of doing it a couple times over the years. Sometimes when my depression is getting to this point and I can’t take care of the house I go to the store and buy paper plates and silverware and cups and use those for a couple weeks until I feel like I can start transitioning to using regular things.
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