Bluey

344d

My mom died very very suddenly a few days ago and I’ve been in a haze since. She was fine and cheerful in the morning and dead a few hours later. The whole thing was very traumatic. I had to call 911, she couldn’t breathe, and it took about an hour for her to pass. I’m a senior in high school and an only child. My mom was the rock of my family. Everyday I would come home and see her and immediately feel comfortable and safer. She took care of everything. Im in shock. I still feel weird saying she’s dead, I still think I hear her voice. I’m normally a fairly calm person, I rarely feel any intense emotions but I’ve been having extreme mood swings these past few days. One second I’ll think we will get through this and the next I’m drowning in despair. I want to stomp my feet like a toddler and have a temper tantrum and cry that it’s not fair. I’m angry at everyone including my mom. She was healthy. Why her? It sounds awful, but I would be okay with literally anyone else. She left us with so much to do. How am I going to get to college? Graduate high school? Without her? She was everyone’s everything. And on top of all of it I’m worrying about my dad, how he’s going to handle me moving away now, my grandma, how she’s going to do without my mom. It’s not fair. My mom was the only person I could be my true self with. Has anyone been through something similar and has advice? Or someone you know that’s been through something Similar and has advice? I’m at a loss right now. Sorry for the long post, even if no one reads it, it was nice to just put all of that out there into the universe.

Methadone

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  • Mikala

    344d

    I am so sorry for what happened to you! ❤️

  • Jade1

    344d

    ❤️❤️❤️

  • Green_

    344d

    Grief is the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through. I think it’s the most difficult thing anyone will go through in their lives. But one day, it’ll get easier. Things that remind you of them that used to hurt and make you angry will one day make you smile. Some days it’ll be years after they’ve passed, and you’ll cry like it just happened. Grief is never consistent, but you will learn to float on top of the chaotic waves. Your mom is always with you. The idea of her in your mind, and the love you carry for her will always keep her with you. Keep going. She’d want you to. ♥️

  • Matthewsmama

    343d

    I'm going to tell you my story since you asked if anyone has been through something similar I was only 9.5 years old. In the 3rd grade. Their was only one week left of school. I had just got back from lunch and recess. I was in the middle of math class. Then the classroom phone rang. My teacher Mr Holden answered the phone. He talked for a few minutes then he hung up. He told me that I was being picked up early and not to worry about my homework to just get my backpack and go to the front office. When I got their I was taken into the conference room, where the school counselor and the school principal were waiting for me. I was then told that their had been an accident and my mother had been hit by a train and was killed. I had just seen her that morning when she dropped me off at school. It will be 17 years in May. It gets easier.

  • leesvomit

    343d

    I'm so sorry you had to experience such a loss, over time you will come to acceptance. That won't mean you won't miss her, but you'll know she's watching you and there with you whenever you need her even if you can't see your mother. And you'll know she loves you more than anything even though you can't hear it. You got this!

  • cathys

    343d

    I'm so sorry for your loss, I lost my son 15 years ago and he was 24, that was the hardest day of my life, especially since I had just seen him an hour earlier and the last thing he said to me was, I will always be here for you mon, I love you, then about 40 minutes later I got a call from first responders that he had been in a car accident, when I asked them how he was they wouldn't tell me, they just wanted to know if my brother was on anything because he was the driver of the truck and couldn't give him anything if he was on something. Come to find out just a few years ago my brother was on methadone, for pleasure and drinking and he nodded off and hit a tree my son was DOA. I seriously didn't think at that time I would be able to get through it, but I did, and it's ok to yell, stomp your feet, be angry, cry whatever you have to do to be able to get through it and you will get through it. You will go through so many emotions over the next few years, but you will make it and you will be a stronger person because of it. And sweetie your mom is with you, you can always talk to her, she is watching over you. We don't know why these things happen but they do and it's not fair but you have to keep putting one foot in front of the other, it does get easier I promise. Please if you need to talk I'm here just message me.

  • Wintie

    343d

    I am so sorry for your loss. Especially for a parent, it's never easy and it is valid to feel that it is unfair. It's okay to feel what you are feeling like and if you need to let it out then do it. Grief is hard and it will definitely take a long time because this woman was dear to you and she was your mother after all. It's okay to be upset. Whatever you're feeling is valid. Your mom will always be close to you as long as you keep her close to your heart. It will never be easy to let go of someone close to you. Please take time for yourself. If you need to talk I am here for you 💗

  • BlueDahlia

    342d

    My brother died two months ago, so I understand. I wish I had advice, but I'm still going through the motions, myself.

  • YassPills

    340d

    This is awful to read, and though everyone else has said the same thing, I am so sorry. I know there's nothing I can say that will make the situation better, it will be hard, I know. Give yourself a break, it will be a while until life begins to feel somewhat normal again, and I hope your teachers and peers understand what you are going through and don't make things harder for you. The only thing I can say that is of any advice is that - I have pretty much been on my own, my mom is alive but she is pretty much a recluse and I have to take care of most things myself. If you're worried about being able to make it on your own, don't be. Things are really not that difficult and soon you will be on your feet and independent. Give yourself time to grieve and then you will come back stronger. <3

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