My Anxiety Attack: How I Ended Up With a Face Like a Burn Victim

i had a really bad episode today… i was supposed to go to an interview for a possible job (i’ve never had a job before and i’m 19) and i was really nervous and stressed out. i woke up this morning with my whole forehead and by my mouth covered in red bumps like an allergic reaction or a lotta acne. idk what it is. it was a bunch of little things, my nails were breaking off, my eyelash extensions ive had for over a month looked super wonky and gross, my hair was a mess and i couldn’t fix it because my broken nails pull it out whenever i try, and now my skin which was clearing up was full of tons of red gross bumps. i was already in a super bad mindset. anyways i was freaking out and ended up cutting all over my face. now i have all these red bumps literally everywhere on my face and bloody cuts on my cheeks. i’m so upset because i was doing so much better, drinking water, eating, journaling, working on school / getting a job, working out. i haven’t had an episode like this in a while. i hate myself for behaving that way but i couldn’t help it. now i can’t go to the interview for at least a week or until these cuts heal so that’s likely out the window. i used to have an as-needed anxiety medication which would have prevented all of this but my psychiatrist refuses to prescribe it to me again because he messed up with prescribing it in the past. he “accidentally” allowed me to take it every day for my school anxiety and now he won’t let me take it for astronomical anxiety attacks like today’s. anyway i can explain that more somewhere else but right now i’m feeling so f**king down and ive messed everything up. my face looks like a burn victim and i’m so much more depressed than ive been in a long time. ive been trying so hard for so long. i want to give up.