Dealing with Separation Anxiety in Relationships

I would like to start by saying this may sound patronizing because my only experiance with this is when I taught in a preschool and children had this anxiety from this parents. I don't mean go sound patronizing!!! We had this book for our children about a mama racoon and a baby racoon who were going to be separated for the day for school, and the mama racoon placed a kiss in the babys palm so whenever they were lonely they could put the hand to their face and get a kiss from mom. (And also they kissed mom's hand so she could do it too) I'm not sure a kiss would would for you but you could possibly exchange a bracelet or locket with a picture, and give that a kiss so it has eachothers love even when you are apart.

I agree I was neglected as a child so being away from my partner is the same I feel like I smother him

I have terrible abandonment issues and anxiety surrounding being away from my partner. It take a lot of communication and, for me, that is really difficult. It's taken my partner and I over a year to really understand how to combat my struggles and its taken a lot of sacrifices on his part. We battle with what's fair for him and what I can't handle so much that it's taken its toll. Its going to take longer than you'd like and a lot more work than it seems it's worth but it's worth it. Our solution has been constant reassurance and messaging and validation which is not easy