Feeling Alone and Numb: Is This Normal?

Hey, this is my first day on the app. So far I've been loving it here, glad to find so many people "alike" me. But yeah, I can relate. I used to be the 1 person people went to, so they could unload about their day, past traumas, abuse, bad relationships, etc. I was there to listen, give advice, and hell I even helped a few people financially. But, not many people really returned the favor. It felt off, because I had told them I suffered with similar things, which is how I could relate and listen. But, that's the thing. Because I was able to listen and give advice, they thought I was stable and just ... didn't need it. I was their "rock", so why would I need help? To be fair, I had some not so great friends as well, but a good chunk of friends just didn't understand. I learned I can't just assume they're gonna follow up and check in on me, I have to message them and tell them something's on my mind and I wanna talk. It sucks, but I understand, they're not able to read my mind and understand all that is going on. Sometimes, you just need to be a bit blunt, and just outright say you need someone to talk to instead of just listening. Also, even if I did do this, understand not all of your friends will be able to help you. Some just won't be able to, some people are better than others at listening and giving advice. The way some do it, may come off as rude or insensitive but in reality they may just not know how to do it, hence why they don't/didn't do it. I'd still recommend you try, just keep this in mind. If you ever do need someone to listen to you, I'll gladly listen to you ramble, vent, or tell me about how pistachio's are your favorite thing ever, or is something that deserves to rot in hell. Whatever floats your boat, I'm here. ❤️

I completely understand where you're coming from. I was and kind of am still that way when it comes to other people who are suffering. I always want to see people be happy or, at least, content. I know what it's like to have to suffer due to past trauma and mental issues, and I never wanted anyone else to have to go through that. So, I decided to play the mother/therapist role for anyone who needed it. But they never did the same for me. I became the person people would turn to to unload all their problems onto. But I never got the chance to open up to them about the things I was dealing with. To be totally honest, I let them use me and my kindness. They weren't even my friends. Just like you, I now suffer because of their pain on top of my own. Their pain actually did become mine. A family member of mine has severe anxiety and they always turned to me to vent and such. Now, just last year, I got diagnosed with anxiety. When that happens, it's called Folie à deux. In fact, my ex boyfriend developed Folie à deux from taking on the caretaker role for me. We spoke with his therapist about the new symptoms he had and that's where I first heard about this term. She told us that Folie à deux can happen when you're frequently around a loved one with a severe mental disorder. I gave him my psychosis basically. I would recommend talking to a therapist or psychiatrist about this to see if this is what you're struggling with. I'm sorry you had to go through being taken for granted too. It hurts and is hard to recover from. But I know you can recover from it. I've just started my own mental health journey, but I know I'm getting better already. I can tell by the way I now react to things and treat others. Stay strong ❤️

Your an empath have you ever looked into that because just knowing that I wasn't the only one helped tremendously please look into it you feeling everyone else's hurt as if it was your own sounds like what empaths go through .

I had some similar experiences when I was younger. It's great to help people, yes, but you should also have people you can count on. Have you ever specifically reached out to one of them with an identified reason? Like, if you want to talk about SH, have you asked to talk about it before? Sometimes, not all the time (bc some people just suck), people don't want to give unsolicited advice or don't know what exactly to say. But the more comfortable you are talking about things, it can sometimes help them to also feel comfortable. That isn't everybody though. But ultimately you also have to put yourself first and do what is best for you. True friends will let it be about you sometimes like you do for them. I hope you get some support! You deserve it.

i totally understand cause i used to be the same way too. at some point you have to realize it’s not fair for someone to put all their pain onto you and not be there for you in return. your friends may not realize what they are doing so you should try to talk to them about it. i promise you that you aren’t being stupid and a lot of people think the same way. if you ever need someone to talk to my messages are open :)