Izzy_beltram

246d

My boyfriend and I got in an argument and he said I’m just like my parents who are manipulative and passive aggressive. It is my worst fear to be like them… I don’t know what to do. I’d rather be dead than be like my parents… I’m now having thoughts of hurting myself… but I don’t feel like I can talk to him about it in fear of him saying it’s manipulation. In general I’m just terrified of doing or saying anything at all… I don’t want to make things worse. But it feels like the only way to make things better is to just never voice my opinions again… no longer voicing my wants. My parents were narcissistic and all I’ve been able to think about since moving away from them is how I can not be like them and yet he says I’m like them. Now I’m questioning if I’m narcissistic… the thought has crossed my mind before but now I’m really thinking about it.

Adult psychological abuse

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  • MusicalHeart95

    246d

    Hi there. I'm so sorry you're going through this first of all. But please do not ever let go of your voice. Never let anyone including a partner make you feel like you can't say whatever you want respectfully of course. Due to the suicidal thoughts or potential plan I'm glad we've met. I too have been feeling that way but just include my adoptive mom. But anyway, you are so much stronger than what you feel. I know it hurts and I know you feel betrayed perhaps and lonely but no you are not! And I too have been manipulated by a partner. My father passed last year and he told me that my father hated me just like he does, I'm worse than his children's mother, etc. But I realized right in the moment of my dad's death that I'm going to really put my foot down and get my life back. I'm 100% sure you're a beautiful individual so what the flaws we all have them. But please do not harm yourself and call either 911 or step away from your partner and get in contact with the suicide prevention hotline. Call someone and get protection immediately! As far as your partner, I mean this from every bit of my soul, please leave them. I know it will he very hard and you have me here to chat if you need a newer friend to stand on your side I do not mind being here to comfort. But he is not available to give you the things you really need. If there is anyway you can get out in a calm and respectful way please do. Your life matters no matter what anyone says. And if you feel you have traits like your parents there are online quizzes and of course see a therapist if you can. Please do not lose your voice. Praying for you, and again, if you need a friend to talk to I'm here. Bless. 🙏🏽💜

  • Aluinn

    192d

    You need to express your emotions say how you really feel never stay quiet like that any boyfriend would want to hear the voice of the only woman he truly loves you need to talk and say how you feel let it all out so he knows your not like them sometimes you really do have do prove yourself.

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