Feeling Hopeless and Overwhelmed with Life

It's been a long week. I'm upset that I can feel myself slipping into another depressive episode. I'm growing apathetic toward life again, and my schedule is too busy to afford that. And, yet, all I want to do is cancel all plans and sleep. I want to sleep, not due to the exhaustion, but simply in desire for avoidance; it's just easier to be unconscious. I'm tired of life all over again. It's exhausting when life is a never-ending dance of "one step forward, two steps back". I constantly think about the quote, "most people die at twenty-five, but aren't buried until seventy-five". It seems the most apt adage to describe my life. I truly feel like my life ended at age four, all the following years have just been waiting. I'm not actively wanting to die, but I no longer have any drive to want to start living either. How do you choose between life and death when both sound as stale as the other?

Feeling Lost and Overwhelmed in Life

How do you cope with dealing with a bunch of medical issues at once and the stress of it all? When the life changes you need to make seem to be more than you can sustain due to the pain and fatigue of just existing? What is the point in continuing to try and fail to juggle all the little things you need to deal with on a day to day basis? Im supposed to have another 50 years on my life and I already feel like it's over and not worth fighting for.