Struggling with Self-Love as a Mom of Adopted Children

My adhd is running a little more rampant than usual today so bear with me in this post. I used to hate a lot about myself. I hated my self image, I hated how “stupid I was” because I wasn’t able to get the grades I wanted in school (because I was undiagnosed at the time), I was always worried about what everyone else thought of me, which led me to either be too scared to say something or to say something and overthink whether it was actually something good to say or if it was stupid, which resulted in me being quite shy. You get the point. I hated myself. One day, I happened to come across a show called Gurren Lagann. Yes it’s an anime, yes I’m a nerd. The character that was supposed to grab everyone’s attention wasn’t the character I was entranced by. I was following the cowardly kind of pathetic side character because I saw a lot of myself in him. But I was also mad at him too for being the way he was in the show. Nothing amazing, kind of a letdown. Until I watched the character grow and spiral out of a depression that led me to being inspired by his dream to let nothing stop him. This show is so motivational it’s unbelievable. Anyways, since that I finally asked myself - why am I so shy? Why can’t I talk to people like everyone else? And just like that I started making small talk to random strangers in the elevators while I was volunteering in a hospital. It was sickening every time because I was stepping so far out of my comfort zone, but after that initial step, it was fine. I guess I used a form of self-cbt to overcome that fear. Now I can talk to pretty much anyone. Obviously I still am trying to improve but I’ve started taking something the main character said to the side character when the latter was frozen in fear: “believe in the part of me that believes in you” - repeating that helped me continue making steps, the leaps, then bounds out of my comfort zone with more and more ease. Seeing that and looking back at my own character development, I’m proud of myself and I love myself for what I’ve been able to do. I also understand that you’re your own self, who cares what anyone else thinks? Just imagine everyone in the room is your friend and it makes talking to lots of random people a lot easier for me. I’m rambling, I’m sorry. Yes, I love myself but I need to in order to become someone that can help another person love themselves. You have to see the good in yourself, you’re your own advocate. Would you help someone else with ADHD? Just being on this app, I’d say the answer is yes. Advocate for yourself. If anyone in the world sees you in a positive light, there has to be a reason why. Believe in their belief of you :) I hope you love yourself. Managing ADHD and such a wonderful and large family must be a lot and I’m truly and honestly so impressed by you