Betrayed by a friend after confiding about abuse trauma

Hi...I don't know if anyone will see this but I'm hoping someone will at least extend some understanding because I am really hurt. trigger warnings.... I'll try to keep this short... I have a history of sexual, emotional, mental, and physical abuse for 9 years by my ex husband. Recently, my current husband has been tied into that trauma through some of his actions....including not being there for me when I had to have an abortion, and sexually assaulting me two weeks before I had to have a tubal ligation so that situation never occurred again. Add in blocking me in rooms to keep me from leaving and throwing things when he is upset and yeah....triggered. I confided in a friend- a best friend- as these things unfolded. About three weeks ago he stayed in my home and while I was at work, my husband spent two hours lamenting his case to my friend....now all of a sudden, my wants and needs and need to be seen and validated are "toxic" according to my friend, and my husband is "equally a victim"... I'm hurt and devastated. my friend keeps insisting that I needed this "intervention" for my own good. I feel gaslit and betrayed. Thanks for reading and commenting if you do.