anyone else struggling with their gender identity? ive heard that autistics tend to have a broader spectrum when it comes to the gender binary or they grasp the idea of other genders really well which i agree with but its still hard to identify myself on that spectrum. im afab but i dont feel dysphoria when i look at my body or genitalia but i do feel dysphoric when im referred to as a woman or with gendered terms and when i remember that people see me as a woman 🤮
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)
hey babes! you might be trans! if you wanna talk to me you can I had this same issue and I'm also autistic :) - zee
It does sound possible you may be nonbinary, a nonbinary person can feel no body dysphoria but still not like being referred to as a gender that they don't feel fits. I am also autistic and am an Agender nonbinary person who is afab.
I was literally just texting a friend about this.
When you were a teenager, how did you feel about puberty?
I'm trying to sort out some gender feelings for myself.
I'd normally say my sexuality and gender identities aren't that a big part of my self concept but I'm getting curious lately.
I didn't like my body changing. I didn't like getting hips.
I didn't like wearing heels or dresses to dances.
But I never liked being misgendered as a boy as much as I've never embraced being feminine either. I never resonated with being a tomboy.
Lately I've considered i might be agender because I generally don't understand the concept of any of it. But I thought my feels were pretty typical and unimportant. Like I dont wanna be called they that also makes no sense.
Just curious how many other women felt like it was insufferable to have their bodies change like that
Or if its the same thing as difficulty with change with autism in general
Like I dont cut my hair often. Change.
And most autistic people don't get gender anyway
Correction on my part - I think autistic people absolutely understand gender. I just don't.
lol yea i was about to say the entire basis of this post is autistic people understanding the complexities of gender more than allistics
I feel almost the exact same way 😳 Afab and enjoy my body as is. Never really had an issue with the bodily changes I went through during puberty.
But I've realized I don't feel safe or included in "women only" spaces and definitely feel more seen if referred to as "they." I feel dysphoric about the entirety of being seen and treated as a woman sexually. I wondered for a while if that was more related to how I see and experience sex, but have been able to clarify more recently that it's largely related to the binary and societal norms and expectations that surround it.
For now I've started gradually letting people I feel safe around (few when it comes to breaking out of the gender binary 🙄) know that I've realized I'm non-binary. I'm not sure if the title feels quite right, but the small step is allowing me to explore the concept better. This has opened conversations with friends that understand gender fluidity, lending more knowledge and thought towards my struggle in determining my own gender identity.
I feel the same thing. At this point I gave up trying to figure it out. I exist, as a human being. People can refer to me however they want, unless it’s condescending. There’s no pressure to choose a label, as long as you find something that at least doesn’t make you feel bad. Labels are dumb and in my 21 years of life I haven’t found one that really fits me, so why have one at all?
i am human. Simple enough.
I nearly removed my breasts because I thought I was trans, and nearly ended my life several times too but thankfully I found out my dysphoria was due to a number of things.
Autism, r*pe trauma, how women are viewed/treated and how I wanted to be distant from that, puberty trauma, having a masculine look, birth control reducing estrogen, my autoimmune condition, internalized misogyny, being attracted to women, have a naturally masculine identity (common in women with ASD), and being more prone to manipulation (people on the internet telling me I was trans without pushing me to explore all of the possible causes for my dysphoria).
I still have some dysphoria but I also know my brain isn’t finished developing and my life experiences have helped form it. After taking inventory of the causes I realized I would rather reject the idea of what being a woman is supposed to feel like, and simply be me.
My advice is to dissect why being seen as a woman makes you feel dysphoric and then seek the proper treatment from there.
something I've seen is that autistic people don't understand the socially constructed gender binary, not that they don't understand gender. I'm similar to you, afab and usually not dysphoric about my body but I absolutely hate people perceiving me as a woman. one of the things that rly helped me was not forcing myself to have a label. I still don't fully understand where I am on the gender spectrum, but when ppl ask I say I'm gender queer since it's a very broad tern. but there's absolutely no need to have a label for yourself, or for other people. just focus on what makes you the most comfortable
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