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I been talking to this guy for a little bit. One thing that seems to weird me out a bit since it started is that he wakes up around the same time as me, (I wake up at 4am everyday) but he doesn’t work… doesn’t really do anything actually, except for game on his pc. And he texts me basically instantly if I send him a text even if I take twenty minutes or longer to text back. I feel bad being weirded out by it cause he’s a very sweet guy. Another thing I am put off by is that he said that he loves me really quickly. I love him as a person, not more than that at the moment. It’s just all weird. Any thoughts?
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Social Anxiety
Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
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Girlfriend of a gamer here. My boyfriend said he loved me very quickly (I think two weeks to a month into dating) and used to respond pretty much immediately after I texted. My experience with him is that he is very isolated and has a lot of personal struggles, which leads him to do pretty much nothing but work, play games, and hang out with me. That's how it's always been. I have also found that because of all these things, and the fact that I'm apparently the only person who really took the time to listen and help him with his struggles, he's quite attached to me. But not in a creepy way! My impression of gamers as a whole (being a gamer myself who just doesn't play with others) is that a lot of them are like this. It's very possible that this guy really likes you and is just going out of his way to talk to you as much as he can because he enjoys your company, all with good intentions. Maybe you listen when others don't, maybe you show care when others don't, maybe you're kind when others aren't. And so, he developed feelings very quickly. That said, I must admit that I would also be a bit suspicious of someone changing their sleep schedule to mine. There is such a thing as liking someone a little *too* much. You have a right to be concerned. I suggest you discuss your concerns with him gently. It's possible he's just being very clingy and he doesn't know it. I had to talk to my boyfriend about clinginess early on myself. I explained that I am put off by excessive attempts to be around me, and I need alone time to recharge because I've always just been alone all the time. If you get weird vibes from his answers, or anything else, you may want to edge away from him. But if he's willing to work with you on giving you the space you need, he's probably just harmlessly enthusiastic. My man worked with me on it. We've been together for going on four years and his clinginess has died down.
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@WhiteFlamingo another thought pops up in my head that he could be lying but I want to trust him..
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@Mr._Dank It's understandable that you're concerned because of past relationships. You have to look out for yourself and you have been given reasons to not trust people as easily. You're not an asshole for this. You're just trying to keep yourself safe. I definitely recommend opening up about your past relationships so you can have a healthy discussion about boundaries. Try not to use blaming language, and instead address how you feel. I did that pretty early on in my relationship. He said it was difficult to adjust to, but he still did it because he didn't want me feeling uncomfortable. After my own relationship experiences paired with my anxiety, I also found it hard to trust. What helped me was just taking it a little bit at a time. I gave a little trust, gauged the response, and gave a bit more of it was positive. If it was negative, I brought it up and we had a constructive discussion about it.
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@WhiteFlamingo thanks for your reply!! I think he is harmless too. But I still get skeptical because my past experiences with relationships. I asked him why he wakes up around 4am and he told me he’s always woken up around 2-3am and since we started talking he just chats with me so he doesn’t overthink. Kinda makes me feel like an asshole for feeling suffocated by it and thinking he’s being weird.
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
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