How to talk to my boyfriend about a sensitive subject?

My fiance and I both have ADHD. I'm medicated and he's not, but I can relate even if my symptoms are more controlled. If the situation that happened in school has emotionally affected the both of you, is it possible that your boyfriend is coping with it in his own way? My fiance doesn't really talk out when something bothers him, he tends to bottle it up and tries to forget by distracting himself with uplifting activities. I cope with issues by addressing them as quickly as they come, because holding it in is much worse to me, and talking it out until I feel like the other is on the same page. Neither has much to do with our ADHD, maybe there's some procrastination there but because we have such different approaches to dealing with things, we've met half way. Is it possible that your boyfriend is avoiding the conversation because he's still processing how he feels and doesn't know how to talk it out? Doesn't want to be reminded of it? Or maybe he's worried he'd bring the energy down if he brought it up? Everyone has a different way of processing pain, but you shouldn't let this get in the way of you needing to address yours. As for ADHD, that's a legit focus problem. Limiting distractions is very helpful. Like talking while the car is in park. Not a lot to do in the car for distractions. Stuck with a 2-5 sentence cap at time, rather than a monologue, so he has a chance to stay engaged. Don't wait for the moment to be right, but put a cap on how much you talk about the incident. Not a time cap per say, more like limit the topics For example, keep to asking how he's been doing and then address the largest part that affects you. I recommend avoiding the reliving of the situation in it's every fine detail, or discussing every aspect that affected you (stick to the big one), or trying to make him your therapist. There's no perfect moment, so even a text that says, " hey, I'm still dealing with that situation from the other day and would like to discuss it when you get the chance.", is very appropriate. And then remind him the next time you see or speak to each other privately. Nothing wrong with saying you really need to get something off your chest when he has a moment even if you have to be a little pushy about it. And it's okay if you're both not over it even after discussing. Wrapping up a conversation with, I may still be dealing with this for a little while and would like to bring this up again at a later date if it's okay with you? Or, because I'm still dealing with this, I'd love it if you checked in on me a little later to see how I'm doing with all of it. Then you can address the 2nd largest part of the problem at that next time, making for more meaningful conversations that are better digested one topic a time. You're very supportive if your boyfriend's ADHD, but no matter how much patience you have or try to strategize a a good focus session, he will still show ADHD symptoms....it's kinda more on you to know how to pace the conversation. I have "given up" on my fiance when he gets too unfocused, and then I say, "Would it be better if we talked about this a bit later when we both can better focus?" Just don't take it personally is all I'm saying :) On a side note, I wish you and your boyfriend healing and that your relationship come out stronger from all of this 💛

Hi! I have ADHD myself and I'm not sure if this is possible, but I always find (for myself) that it's easiest for me to stay focused on more serious conversations in person or on a video call where I can see the other person and don't have any other distractions (example: something I have to do directly after the call) I hope this helps and everything works out