Struggling with Step Parenting

I'm a step parent as well and for a while my husband and I would argue about the kids behavior and what was accepted and not we worked through it but it was very stressful just try to find command ground

While I am not a parent of any kind- I am a nanny. I would talk to your husband about helping set boundaries and ensure that you are getting the respect you deserve as their step-mom. Along with this inch towards a relationship with them by asking if they want to do things you know they like with you (ex. If they like legos you could buy a Lego kit and ask them if they wanted to put it together with you- I know it’s buying their love to an extent but it also shows you want to be their friend and that you care about them)