Struggling with Social Anxiety and Isolation

I can't take my shyness making me miss out on all of life anymore. I've listened to books, watched videos, and joined every online support group I can find. I can smile and say "hi" but beyond that my social skills are nowhere to be found. I'm fun and goofy at home with my kids, but anywhere else I feel like a child locked in a room inside my head. I can't connect with adults at all. I don't feel mature enough or worthy around them. I've tried so many tricks on how to have meaningful conversations but I'm just so weird people don't talk to me very long. My last job, I worked with predominantly females and wanted to find a friend so bad. after 6 months I still had none. they were like another species. I'm doing in-home therapy as a job now and am getting to know the family. I'm so scared that in a couple weeks, I'll start having panic attacks when I have to go into their home because I can't get comfortable. I've quit almost every job I've had because I panic but don't feel close enough to anyone to let them know how mentally messed up I am. My kids have sleepovers this weekend and I'm sad knowing I'll basically be a ghost until they come back. If I didn't hurt so bad all the time, I wouldn't even believe I was real.