Struggling with motivation and feeling stuck

I’m so sorry. I know how you feel. It’s not that you want to die, it’s just that you want to feel better so badly, but you’re afraid only death will bring peace. Or at least that’s how I’ve felt at times. I commented on another tread of yours about the TMS treatments. I do think this something you should definitely try. It can only help. The sessions are short, but you will be going 5 days a week. Are you able to do that? I find hope in knowing that science is finding new ways to help! Please don’t give up hope.