Struggling with Mental Health

I'm having a really bad and hard day today mentally and emotionally. I've been pretty bad and getting worse. I need to make changes and need something to go my way if I'm gonna be able to keep going or make it. Can't keep on the way I've been going at all, its tearing me up inside and changing who I am. I don't have many I can talk to, who care or understand and I'm not getting much help and it really sucks. I just feel like I'm alone, no one cares and I'm kinda doomed to stay stuck until I give up... Sorry for the dark but I have to be honest anda I'm trying to say it without saying it to avoid triggers- trust me I get it and I'm not trying to make someone else have a harder time. I do try to reach out for help but don't really get anywhere and I don't know what more I can do. I am trying. I'm soon going to apply for a job where I know someone who can tell me what is expected and help me with the job- learning what I need to do, how to do it. A little bit of luck and SOMETHING to finally go my way is all I ask.