Struggling with Abuse Recovery

Hello. I am new to this app. I am coming to terms with my abusive childhood, and I'm really struggling with it. I'm trying to face it and see it for what it was and overcome the anxiety, depression, and low self esteem that it has caused me. It's the scariest thing I have ever done. I have reached out to start therapy in a few months, which I am very excited for. But until then, I feel quite alone. I'm single and I can't talk to my family about it, cuz they caused it. I don't want to scare my friends, either. I have had no motivation to do things I usually love. I have just been having daily sobbing breakdowns/attacks on the floor of my house. I'm thinking about going into some sort of volunteering to help elderly or young teens, as I find helping others helps me, plus it doubles as a distraction. Any suggestions?