Why do I run away when things get good?

For me it was about control and not being blindsided. It was better to see the suffering coming and to destroy things myself in a controlled manner before someone or some circumstance came along and destroyed the good things in a chaotic way. There is comfort in the devil we know. It’s a really hard pattern to break. But we deserve good things.

People who run away from things when they start to get good have likely noticed the pattern that eventually something is going to go wrong or the initial excitement will fade. It's self preservation from disappointment but it's both too short sighted and too long sighted. Change is part of life and there's more than one side to it, things aren't going to stay perfect forever but they also aren't going to be bad forever. If something makes you happy or helps now, even if that is expected to change, it's worth sticking with until it no longer does. Even if it ends badly the experience itself can give you connections, perspectives, skills, ect that might ultimately be able to help you back on your feet and headed in a different, hopefully better, direction.

I do it because I always know that something upsetting will happen