Struggling with Postpartum Depression and Intimacy Issues

hey there, I was on about 10 months ago before I found out I was pregnant. good news I have a beautiful baby boy. bad news I have the start of postpartum depression. I have been seeing a therapist and I'm getting into group therapy but sometimes I just need a safe place to put down my thoughts and feelings without feeling like I'm letting people down or that I am a bother to my friends and family. with that being said. there is something bothering me and I don't know how to talk to my husband about it. so here goes it. it is kind of sexual nature, fair warned. and please remove if not allowed. i walked in on him after he had got done masterbating, he tried to play it off as he was just using the restroom, but I kinda called him out jokingly on it. he then for the most part fessed up. I don't know why it's bugging me so much. I used to too before we got pregnant, and I didn't tell him. but also he never walked in after I had finished or caught me, and I never tried to lie or keep it from him if he asked. the other thing is he was playing a game on his phone. I have some unresolved issues about phones from past abusive relationships, and I am trying not to bring them to my marriage. so here I am trying not to think about him on his phone or the fact that he kinda tried to hide him masterbating from me. I know my paranoia stems from past relationships but I can't figure out why it's bugging me so much now when I know the cause. I also don't want to bring it up to him because it then makes me sound not only hypocritical but also like a jerk. I also don't want to bring up the fact that I have had to wait more than 7 months for him to give me an organism now. Not only because of pregnancy but also work schedules. we weren't able to be intimate for most of my pregnancy and then in the end, he wasn't able to get me there, nor did he take the time. and now I still have to wait longer and I'm worried that when we do finally get to be intimate again I will still be waiting and he won't take the time. he wants me to initiate sex more often but I have a lot of self confidence issues. in return he doesn't initiate and neither do I and that causes me to fill deeper into a rut with self confidence and I feel like we'll be in the same place after we have been given the okay to have sex again. I'm nervous, scared, anxious, and feel like my after birth self confidence is starting to wean hard. why did he have to try to hide it. why can't he just tell me. I have asked before I. the past and he tells me he never does and now I feel like I can't trust him, and feel like he lies to me.