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Obsession with Corrupting People

B_Legion

716d

Does anyone else have an obsession with thinking you’re going to corrupt people? Like your existence is inherently harmful and you’re going to ruin people by either hurting them terribly, or by making them be a worse person? If so, what are some things you do that helps? Bonus points: We do have different cluster b personality disorders depending on who we are. which, unregulated, does pose the risk of us being harmful. How do we tell the difference from real and concerning cluster b symptoms that we need to rein in, and our irrational obsessed terror about being some sort of evil force or whatever?

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Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

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    • SMX

      713d

      I’ve experienced other things that I can very easily imagine how that would me possible. Non physical contamination is a huge part of my OCD. So not like germs but contamination of the mind and soul and such. I am sure it’s just that the grass is greener but sometimes I wish I had it with germs and cleanliness. At least maybe I would clean instead of avoidance

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    • SMX

      713d

      I’ve experienced other things that I can very easily imagine how that would me possible. Non physical contamination is a huge part of my OCD. So not like germs but contamination of the mind and soul and such. I am sure it’s just that the grass is greener but sometimes I wish I had it with germs and cleanliness. At least maybe I would clean instead of avoidance

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    • penny_coat

      713d

      Yes! My biggest fear is that one of my clients will end up hurt or worse off due to my negligence. My ERP antidote is to intentionally slack on some things, not double check notes or understanding, etc

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      • B_Legion

        713d

        @penny_coat I’ll try that! I’m worried it might cause us to slip with our bpd, hpd, or npd; but we’ll be tracking our symptoms with our spouse’s help and if it doesn’t work out we’ll try something else. It’s a good prospective antidote, hopefully it helps with us too! 💕

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    • erynnobull

      715d

      I used to think I was the gd devil before I was diagnosed with severe bipolar 1. I thought I had no morals because I couldn't control myself from doing bad things even when I tried. Some bipolar mania is highly enjoyable, as those who experience it will tell you. Fortunately/unfortunately mine never was. It just made me this hedonistic, selfish, out of control monster. Since being diagnosed and medicated I've been able to be able to make rational decisions-my own actual decisions. But now I feel broken and terrified of what could happen if maybe one day my meds stop working, God forbid. I've avoided my children for a long time out of fear of still being a black hole of tragedy. Just a different kind of one. Sry for the babble, but I really get what you're saying.

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      • B_Legion

        713d

        @erynnobull I really appreciate the response, it helps to know we’re not alone in what we’re feeling, though of course I’d prefer you be spared the emotional hell 💕

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    • ToeKnee

      716d

      Constant fear that I might hurt someone either physically or emotionally and not care. I'm pretty sure that I'm somewhat of a sociopath and if it weren't for my upbringing I could have turned out a lot differently. I feel empathy for others so I have that thing for me.

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      • B_Legion

        713d

        @ToeKnee I feel that, I’d recognize that sociopath is an ableist slur for anyone that struggles with weaker than average or has lapses of empathy and guilt. Psychopath is the slur for when either of those things is more absent than not or totally absent. You’re totally allowed to use those slurs if they apply to you, **especially** if you have ASPD. But try and make sure you’re not using them in a way that hurts and disempowers you, you deserve kindness, especially from yourself! ☺️💕

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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