Feeling Lost and Numb: Seeking Help for My Mental Health

i dont know what to write about i dont know what to talk about i dont know what to do right now. being in this moment is lonely. i pray and ask for a reason to go out. i pray to be found by people. i pray that happiness finds me. i pray that im given happiness. i dont like going by myself but sometimes u just need to go out just to be out. it never feels good to stay home and sleep. i need serious help. im glad this is anonymous cus i really need somewhere to sort my mental health. deal with everything thats wrong with me. i usually go out to feel something cus im so numb and unstimulated. i dont know who i am. im so numb all the time sitting at home. i dont like how slow i move when i walk outside the house. but i dont have much strength to go on walks. im sitting on a bench. should i go home or should i keep going to the park and stay there? what should i do? what is there to do at home?