Losing Joe: My Traumatic Experience

TW: mention of death/blood I really want to speak about this, I'm 18 now but 10 when it happened. I lived with my biological mother and her boyfriend Joe. she dating a lot of guys but Joe was someone I looked up to. till May 14, 2014, at 9ish we took the dogs out to use the bathroom. my "mother" was on the phone, while me and Joe were putting the dogs on leashes. I didn't put Jesse, my dog, in the leash. Joe ran after her, running into the street. Two cars were racing in the neighborhood. All I can remember was the tires making a sound as Joe was hit by one on his side. the impact threw his body to the side of the road. I can't remember if I screamed or cry, all I do remember is running to him, seeing him bleeding from his mouth begging, pleading for him to stay. a neighborhood pulled me into her house, I stayed with her for a few days, I missed school, didn't speak to my mother, didn't even look outside. The murders were only given a few years in jail. I wished I was allowed to speak about that night, so here I am telling my story, I see his bleeding body in my dreams, I have photos of him and me together, and took some stuff toys he gave me. I cant visit his grave cause he doesn't have one. I just look up at the stars every Monday tell him about my week. I miss him, and blame myself for his death