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How do I know if I'm gay?

Raven_Shadows

658d

I think I may be bia or something because these this one girl I really like and she knows this. The real difficulty is most of my family thinks that people my age are just too young and immature to know what they want, so I'm too scared to say anything in fear that they'll tell my I'm crazy or just confused, or worst make me go to therapy if I don't manage my emotions after they reject me. I don't plan to tell them anytime soon (while I still live with them) or until I can figure out my emotions for myself. How do I tell if I'm really gay or if I'm just curious? Should I ever tell my family about this?

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    • SRayn

      658d

      There is definitely NO rush in putting a label on yourself. I gave up on labelling myself a long time ago, because I just like what I like and want what I want. First, there is NO shame in being attracted to whoever you're attracted to, that's your business, not anyone else's. As far as figuring it out, you have to experiment if you want to try to reach a definitive answer. You'll never know what you like if you don't try it 🤷🏻‍♀️ I kissed lots of women (as a cis female), before I finally accepted that I was actually attracted to women, as well as men. Take your time, have fun, and don't feel like you owe anyone an answer or label.

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    • AnimalBoy

      658d

      Take it slow, you don't have to come out yet or decide on a label until you feel that you fully understand how you're feeling. And if your understanding of how you feel changes then you can change the label as well. It helps to dissect your feelings about this person and other's you've shown interest in, are you sexually or romantically attracted to her? Both? Have you previously had any attraction to other girls even if it's just a small crush? Would you be interested in dating girls assuming it were safe?Do you feel the same way about boys? If you feel differently do you still feel some form of attraction to both? Stuff like that, there's no harm in waiting until you have a bit more experience with each type of attraction if you struggle answering those questions as well. You can, at least privately, use a vague placeholder label like queer, which is frequently how the "bi-curious" label is used as well. If you have any questions or need to vent about it at all im happy to help and my messages are open.

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    • SRayn

      658d

      There is definitely NO rush in putting a label on yourself. I gave up on labelling myself a long time ago, because I just like what I like and want what I want. First, there is NO shame in being attracted to whoever you're attracted to, that's your business, not anyone else's. As far as figuring it out, you have to experiment if you want to try to reach a definitive answer. You'll never know what you like if you don't try it 🤷🏻‍♀️ I kissed lots of women (as a cis female), before I finally accepted that I was actually attracted to women, as well as men. Take your time, have fun, and don't feel like you owe anyone an answer or label.

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      • Raven_Shadows

        658d

        @SRayn Thanks for the advice luv, it's just that I've never seen a girl (or anyone really) as anything but a girl and now I have this one friend that's different and something just feels off, like I should like her or something, my chest feels tight, my head gets fuzzy and my face gets hot like a fever, i don't know why I get like, maybe I'm wrong about my feelings. 😥

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        • SRayn

          658d

          @Raven_Shadows as scary as it can be, sometimes you just have to put yourself out there if you want to find out. There's definitely lots of resources you can find online that help people who may be at the beginning of their LGBTQ journey (and it can be helpful even if you don't think you're gay/bi/queer, just having more information)

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☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision

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