Stories
Privacy
Download
See Alike in...
Alike App
Browser
620d
I was told by a friend recently that I need her too much and to give her some space. She's right and I gave her space.... she has since been pretty cold. My heart is broken and I'm hella confused. Just the week prior she said I wasn't "too much" ...Any advice on how to talk to her about it?
1
7
Share
Anxiety (Including GAD)
Depression
advertisement
619d
Our tolerance for things can fluctuate, and it’s not unusual to not be able to handle something one week the same way we do the next. I try to take that perspective when a friend needs space, and assume the best intent. Just like you are expressing a need for connection, your friend is expressing their need for space. When someone calls you “too much” though, it’s hard not to take that personally. For me, it triggers a lot of feelings of rejection and worthlessness. It is difficult to not just react by isolating or taking it as that friend no longer wanting to be associated with me. There’s nothing wrong with having these feelings, and often times we need to sit with them to let them move through our body. My advice would be, since you seem to have an understanding of how you feel, to share just that with your friend. Something like: “Hey, I’m feeling confused about how our friendship is defined. How can we make sure both of our needs are being met and supported?” Coming from a place of curiosity can help both parties stay away from blame or judgement. It sounds like your friend cares enough to let you know when they are overwhelmed, which is a huge amount of trust and vulnerability. You can appreciate and return that by sharing how you feel and seeking to understand. I can tell you also really care about this person and want to feel close to them. You definitely have the ability to organize and express yourself, and I hope that you can find a useful tool for you to do just that.
3
sometimes people have a hard time helping others with mental illnesses. my bf was the same way I overwhelmed him so much. I would just say you miss her and if you can talk. you have to be honest and open about the situation
2
😥 Kind of dealing with something similar. It hurts, and I'm just trying to cope, honestly
@cosully sending hugs. It's tough. But we'll get through it.
I would continue to give her space, then maybe start to reintroduce small things you used to do, like go out for coffee or whatever you did that wasn't stressful, and not talk about the things that overwhelmed her. Start small, then after a while ask her about it.
@Placebo1228 one of the hard parts here is we see each other at least twice a week. She teaches my son piano and we take a class together. I skipped lessons and class last week just to give her more space. But I can't do that forever.
Sometimes, we over estimate the ability others have to understand us and it can be overwhelming to them. I would give her space but let her know how much you appreciate her and her help. Continue to give her space, in our darkest moments we discover who our true friends our. This can be painful but appreciate her for what she was to you, nothing in this life is forever and friends will come and go and that is ok. I hope things work out for you.
4
☝ This content is generated by our users and it is not a substitute for professional medical advice. Please consult with your physician before making any medical decision
Want to chat or share? Download the Alike app now and get complete access to Alike.health's unique features.
Instantly get answers to medical questions with our AI, built from the collective wisdom of our community facing similar experiences
Write your question here...
Download Alike for the full experience
Copy Link
Copied
Discover your Alikeness™ with people who are on the same journey, gain wisdom and get emotional relief in a secure & anonymous space.
4.7 Ratings
Scan code or click below download the app
Bupropion
night sweats
paranoid
Valium
sertraline
palpitations
Alike health
Instantly get answers to medical questions with our AI, built from the collective wisdom of our community facing similar experiences
Related Questions