How to deal with unhelpful comforters?

Thank you. These have helped

I know that, in the past, people have gotten defensive or turned cold when I’ve told them they aren’t helping. Coming from a place of, “I know you want to help me” when starting out the convo could help, and then you can transition into what you do need to help. People do like to feel useful, so just telling them how much it means to have them sit with you can be a good way to get them on the same page. Or if you need space, having them check-in with you later could be a useful ask. I hope you’re able to find a way to get the support you deserve!

Asking to hold space as opposed to fixing things. There's an overwhelming urge for a lot of folks to fix and solve but emotions and emotional pain aren't something that can be fixed before it's ready. I had to ask my hubby to just listen at times and we established that I tell him whether I need a listener or a problem solver so he can approach accordingly.

I'm not sure. I tend to just tell them to accept that I'm not okay and just be with me. Stop trying to fix it. because it just puts pressure on me to be okay when I'm not.