Struggling with Chronic Illness and Mental Health

I'm so tired, I stay depressed, also my heart issues cause me a lot of problems and so does my EDS. On top of those, I have a laundry list of different things; you can go check it out yourself. I'm so tired of this life. I'm tired of being in constant pain and constantly being so worn out that I can't do anything; I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread. I don't want to keep living like this. I am seeing doctor after doctor after doctor for each of my issues except for my mental issues, because of my EDS no medication works for me and therapy doesn't work either because I keep getting bounced from one therapist to another until finally none will see me and I didn't know why until like a week ago. I was told I was too intimidating. see i am an open book and very talkative, thats the only thing that I enjoy is a good intellectual conversation, but because of how "open" I am, apparently that makes therapist turn away from you. So, I can't get counseling/therapy or psychological help at all. I have been turned away by the entire mental health clinic where I live. I'm so done. I'm not going to end anything myself, but in 6-9 years, I'm due to get my battery changed on my pacemaker. I am fully pacemaker dependent. And when that needs to happen unless a pretty amazing miracle happens before then, I will refuse to get it done. My battery will die, and shortly after, I will die also. it's a long time to wait, but I am just hoping something happens to make things better before then because I have a wife and children. but no matter who is in my life, If things don't get better, then no battery changes.